My Mom Always Said… If You Can’t Say Something Nice…

I’ve recently run into quite a few snide and rude comments on blogs and other social media outlets that leave me with my jaw dropped and totally without words. The comments are usually geared towards someone in particular and usually in response to a choice that person has made.

My mom always said, if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all.

girl covering mouthI have never met a Mom that has said “I don’t care about my kids.”. I have heard of a rare few, but every mom that I have been in contact with loves and adores their children with all of their heart. Every choice they make has their child in mind. Some women make a different choice than you would, but who put US here on Earth to judge each other?

Whether you choose to…

* turn your child forward facing in their car seat at one …. or …. leave them rear facing until they outgrow their limits in the seat

* let your children play video games … or … insist on an hour of quiet/reading time a day

* breast feed your child as long as allowed … or … never try breast feeding and went straight to a bottle

* use cloth diapers … or … use disposable diapers

* stay home with your children … or … put them in day care so you can work

* not eat meat, eat only whole foods, avoid processed foods … or … take your kids to McDonalds on a regular basis

* only use natural products … or … use chemical items as long as they do the job

* shampoo … or … “no poo”

* shut the tv off during the day and insist on outdoor play … or … allow television time

it’s not our given right to judge others. We can only live by example and do what we feel is best for our own children and family. Words hurt. I’ve learned this the hard way and usually on the receiving end.

Be the best you YOU can be.



  1. Sabrina R says

    I completely agree with this! We should be educating and supporting each other as humans and mothers not trying to rip each other down. We should be worried about setting a good example for our kids, thanks for sharing the reminder!

  2. I’m starting to wonder what’s going on in the world when there are so many people out there who think they need to go out of their way to hurt someone else or to make someone else miserable. I know misery loves company, but really? I can honestly say, if you would compliment more – you would find your situation less miserable. Positive breeds positive, negative breeds negative. My mom used to say the same thing Heather! She was also the one who told me that we shouldn’t judge others because we don’t know where they come from, what they’ve been through, or what they deal with on a daily basis. Try a little kindness. I think you’ll find, it will go a long long way.

  3. I have a question that your post reminded me of. First, it’s not about your blog and that is actually what makes it a safer place to ask. 🙂

    I am admittedly a spelling snob. When I see posts with words not spelled correctly, is it nice or mean to let the author know? Does it matter if it’s less significant word within the post as opposed to a word in the title? Does it matter if it’s a personal post as opposed to a sponsored one?

    Is a private email nice or not? I honestly don’t know because I make as many mistakes as the next person and don’t want to come off like I don’t but the other school of thought is that it might be appreciated.

  4. Just adding another comment so I can check to get follow up comments by email.

  5. Yes, words do hurt! I have seen some very rude and shocking things that people will say on Facebook. They seem to not know the Golden Rule which is to do unto others as others do unto you!

  6. Tree says

    Well said, Heather! I let comments like that slide off my back… I’ve grown a pretty thick skin in my almost 50 years. 🙂 Those people mean nothing to me, although I do agree… their comments can be hurtful. I don’t understand why some people think their way is the ONLY way! UGH

  7. Perfectly said, and thank you!!! This is why I love your blog!!!!

  8. LOVE this! Great post!

  9. I am glad you have said this. I am tired of others judging people as being wrong just because they don’t have the same morals, thoughts, values or whatever as you do. Be nice or go play in someone else playground.

  10. I’m always amazed at some of the rude comments I read on blogs. These are grow women bashing other women, makes you think if this is how they behave what can you expect from their kids.

  11. Rosey says

    I hear about the comments, but I rarely come across them. Your post is a good reminder though, to focus on what’s really important. I am new to blogging (though I’ve been reading blogs for years), and I think the bloggers I’ve interacted with so far have just been wonderful!

  12. I really love your post! I’m going to be a first time mommy in just 3 weeks and I’ve encountered tons and tons of comments on how I should raise my child and the choices I should make, even though advice and tips are always welcome I think some people are very rude about going about it, it’s their way or no way and I don’t think that’s right. I like you, think that every mom tries their hardest and makes the best decision for her family (her , her hubby or significant other and her baby) even if that choice doesn’t match yours because well they are different so things are going to work that don’t work for you or vice versa. All mommies love their children and we shouldn’t judge or criticize another mom’s choice because we don’t know exactly how much thought, tears or things went onto that choice. Thank you for post it really makes me feel like as long as I try my very best I’m still going to be a worthy, good mom  I recently blogged about this subject geared a little more towards breastfeeding decisions, if you’d like you can read it at :

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