Considerations for Every Single Mom Before Dating Again

Whether amicable or messy, your last relationship didn’t go according to plan. Breaking up caused emotional overwhelm for you and your children. It altered your lives in ways you likely never thought imaginable yet somehow, you’ve survived. As the days turn into the weeks, weeks into months, and months into years, that inner desire for companionship starts to resurface long after your divorce. You want to give love another chance.


Before you ask your best friend to hook you up with their trainer, head out to the nightclub for some action, or create a profile on one of the top dating sites, there are a few things that single mothers need to consider. Continue reading to learn more.

Emotional Healing

The worst thing you can do is take emotional baggage from past relationships into a new one. Doing so puts a lot of unnecessary strain on anyone interested in developing something serious with you. Emotional baggage creates problems where there aren’t any and manifests an impossible persona that your date will have to live up to. It also significantly increases your chances of getting your heart broken again.

You’re On the Right Path If…

As a mother, your emotional health impacts your ability to care for your children. If you haven’t properly healed from your past and consequently become emotionally damaged, it will affect your children. That’s why emotional healing is extremely important before dating again. Some signs that you’ve healed include:

  • Your Emotions are Stable – After a breakup, your emotions are all over the place. Your ex or what you once had caused you to feel everything from sadness to anger and resentment. You can tell that you’re recovering from the breakup if your past doesn’t easily sway your emotions.

  • You’ve Learned a Lesson – In every failed relationship, there is a lesson to be learned. These lessons ultimately contribute to your ability to have a more productive relationship in the future. If you can analyze your relationship, see the parts you played, identify red flags and triggers, and see them as learning opportunities, you’ve healed.

  • You Love Yourself – If your past relationship caused you to feel down about your physical appearance or abilities, it is critical that you work on this before dating again. Relying on others for validation of your beauty and worth is an unhealthy habit. Whether that means eating better and working out to reach body goals, looking for the best expert to complete lip fillers in Houston, or learning a new skill or hobby, take time to build on your confidence. When you reach a point that you feel good about who you are inside and out, you’re ready to spread that positive energy on the dating scene.

  • You Love Being Alone – Being in a committed relationship for so long takes you out of the practice of doing things on your own. Your lives become intertwined and you spend less time alone. Now that you’re single, establishing a life, interests, routines, and activities is essential. Otherwise, you’ll try to latch on to the first person you date merely to avoid being alone. Though raising kids requires a significant amount of your time, energy, and attention, find room to do things by yourself. Take a solo trip, go to a gym or dance class, treat yourself to lunch at a nice restaurant, go watch a movie, get a massage or anything else you might enjoy to learn just how rejuvenating solitude can be.

  • Your Kids Are Ready – Your children may never be head over heels about the idea of you having a new partner, but the breakup had an impact on their health. Have you done what you can to help your children overcome the divorce? Do they feel comfortable talking about it with you? Have they adjusted to their new schedules and routines? Do they have a healthy relationship with the parent? Have you strengthened and restored the parent-child bond? If the answer is no to these questions, then your kids may not handle you dating too well.

Being a single mother doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to be alone until your kids are grown. As a woman’s physical and emotional fitness play a vital role in her ability to be an active parent, the journey to finding love must be taken with caution. Once you can identify each of these signs in your life, feel free to get back out and find love once again.

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