Human beings are social creatures. We need to make connections with other people in order to not only survive but to thrive. Positive relationships with other people make you feel happier and healthier. However, some people do struggle when it comes to maintaining relationships. This could be because they struggle with navigating social cues, or maybe they haven’t been taught what a good relationship looks like.
Whatever the reason, it isn’t always easy to create and maintain a healthy relationship which is why we have put together the following guide.
Accept and Embrace Your Differences
No two people are alike, and this can present challenges for our relationships. People perceive and process things differently. This can create a stumbling block for some people, who are confused when people don’t inherently understand their thoughts and actions. However, life would be incredibly boring if everyone were the same. The novelty of sameness is not that novel at all. Instead, you need to work at not only accepting but embracing the differences between you and the people in your life.
Listen Well
Listening to the other person is the cornerstone to building a good relationship. It makes the other person feel valued and supported. Therefore, active listening is a vital skill. By actively listening to the other person, you are demonstrating to them that you genuinely care about what they have to say, and it helps you to understand them better. After you have listened, you should paraphrase their sentiments and repeat them back to them to ensure that you have understood what they have been trying to tell you.
Give Up Your Time
Often, your time is the most important resource that you have, and by giving it to other people, it communicates their importance. You might think that you give them plenty of time, but if you spend much of that time on your cell phone, then it doesn’t really count. You need to work on being present when you are spending time with those who are important to you. Put your phone away and focus on the other person or people. You are likely to build a much stronger connection this way.
Communicate Properly
This goes hand in hand with listening well. You cannot assume that other people understand what you are trying to say. Some topics or conversations can be uncomfortable, so people avoid them; however, avoiding such conversations can lead to a breakdown in the relationship. Poor communication can lead to mistrust or doubt and sully the relationship too. You need to work on communicating; if you feel uncomfortable doing so face to face, then you could try phone calls or texts.
Build the Trust
Trust is another integral aspect of any relationship. That being said, there can be different levels of trust. It is your job to work out who deserves what level of trust from you. For example, your immediate family and your partner would probably deserve the highest level along with your closest friends. Acquaintances and colleagues need to be trusted somewhat but not as much et cetera. Trust can take time to build, and it isn’t necessarily easy. You can build trust by keeping confidences, showing up for the other person and supporting them. While trust can take a while to build, it can be broken quickly, and once broken, it is even more difficult to rebuild.
Demonstrate Empathy
Empathy and understanding really help to solidify a bond between people. Empathy refers to an effort to understand and relate to another person’s feelings without trying to intervene with blame or advice. It is all about demonstrating an understanding and validating of the feelings that they have. Part of being a more empathetic person is allowing yourself to be vulnerable and encouraging the other person to be more vulnerable too. Of course, there needs to be a certain level of trust for this to happen.
Celebrate Milestones
Oftentimes, relationships break down because the other person feels underappreciated. In all honesty, it is easy to take other people for granted. It is important that you do your best to show your appreciation. One such way to do this is by celebrating their milestones with them or by saying “thank you for your help“. These milestones can be as big or small as you want. This depends entirely on how close you are to the person. For example, birthdays are a fairly standard milestone; you don’t need to be particularly close to a person to celebrate this. Other milestones are much more meaningful, like a new job, home or baby or something like a graduation. You don’t have to go big on these occasions; a simple token will do. A graduation could merely mean a card. It is heartful and personal but not over the top. Green Envelope have a number of designs and templates, including graduation card ideas so check them out.
Pay Attention to the Small Things
Grand gestures are all well and good, but they tend to only occur when a relationship is already on the verge of breaking. In order to maintain a relationship and ensure that things never get that force, you should be using your active listening skills to gain an insight into the other person. It is often in the small details that you can find the biggest potential for growing a relationship. Remembering something that they have said and using it later shows them that you have paid attention that you value their thoughts, opinions and feelings. In short, remembering the little details makes the other person feel special.
Always Respect Their Boundaries
Boundaries are subject to change over the course of a relationship as each party grows more comfortable with the other. A person’s boundaries are a result of their life experiences and, often, the trauma that they have been subjected to. This is why it is imperative that you respect them. You cannot be expected to know their boundaries without them having told you. It needs to be a conversation between the two of you. Hold yourself to account if you overstep and apologize.
Never be Afraid to Apologize
Speaking of apologies above, you should never be afraid or too stubborn to apologize when you need to. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. It is likely that you will say or do the wrong thing at times. Misunderstandings are all but inevitable. What it comes down to, in the end, is how you address such instances. It can affect the dynamic of the entire relationship. It is easy to find yourself valuing winning the argument over the feelings over the other person. The other person is always more important.
The Takeaway
Building a good relationship can take time, especially if those relationships have previously been fractured. However, every relationship in your life can teach you something. You can learn more about yourself and use those insights going forward. When it comes to building healthy relationships, consider the advice above. Most of the time, it comes down to being mindful of how your actions can affect others. It is easy to act within your own self-interest, but this can poison your relationships when the other party no longer feels as though they matter to you.
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