Getting back with your ex-wife after a divorce 

It’s been a few months now after your divorce, and you realize that you have made a huge mistake. You miss your ex-wife more than anything and you want to win her back. Can you get back together with your ex-wife after a divorce? What’s the procedure? And how can you win your ex-wife back after a divorce? 

Firstly, how can you win back your ex-wife after a divorce?  You wife might still be harboring a lot of hurt from the divorce. You need to try and understand her feelings and what she might have gone through the past few months. You also need to realize where you went wrong in your marriage. Maybe you neglected your partner, by working all the time, or you cheated on her. Or perhaps you just became distant and allowed the relationship to unravel. Some men are sometimes really controlling and jealous. You need to figure out where you went wrong and how you can change. Maybe speak to your ex-wife and ask her what you should have done differently. Really listen to what she has to say and work on the points that she raised. If you have insecurity issues, perhaps seeing a psychologist would be a good idea to work out the root cause of your insecurities. If you cheated on your wife, look inside yourself to figure out why you cheated. As per KarenCovy, the first step to winning your wife back after your divorce is to really look at yourself, and see how you can change. 

You also need to figure out what your ex needs from you. For a woman to really love you, she needs to respect you. Respect is earned and not demanded. Do things that will earn back her respect. Be the man that she needs. Support her emotionally, be present, respect her space and allow her to be herself. If she needed you to be responsible, be that man for her.  All a woman wants is love and to be respected. If you treat her like a queen she will return the favor.   

Secondly, attract her back to you. Your wife decided to marry you in the past, which means she did love you before and found you attractive. You can always try to charm her back. Be the man you use to be when she fell in love with you. Did you take care of yourself before? Maybe you became comfortable in your marriage and let yourself go. Start to look after yourself again. Work out if needed, eat healthily and work on bad habits that you previously had. Remember, your appearance does matter! In accordance with CompleteCase, when your appearance is changing for the worse, the probability of the break up is increasing significantly.  

Find things that you love doing. If you are happy and confident, it’s easier to attract your wife back.  Start to care again about your wife’s feelings. Perhaps you lost your cool on a number of occasions and degraded her with your speech. Always aim to speak kindly and respectfully. Seeing a therapist together is also a great idea, according to TheModernMan. By doing this you can work through your issues in a calm manner. 

Once you have worked on yourself and your issues you have to start from scratch again. You would have to date again from the beginning. Speak to your ex-wife as much as possible. Try to start up a friendship again. Call, text or email your spouse like you did when you first met. Try to keep the conversation light-hearted unless she wants to talk about deeper things. Compliment your ex-wife. Tell her how much you miss her and what you missed about her. Tell her how beautiful she is too and speak about the happy memories that you shared in your marriage. If the communication seems to be going well, you can ask your ex-wife out on a date. You would need to suss out the situation, and see when the right time is to ask her out. If she agrees to a date, treat her like you did when you first met her. Did she like when you opened the car door for her? Then do so. Buy her flowers. Make her feel special. If she sees that you are really trying, this could soften her heart.  

After you have started a friendship again with your ex-wife, and things seem to be going well, you can talk about where things went wrong. You need to be open about what happened in your marriage and open about your feelings. It’s very important to listen to your ex-wife when she speaks to you about her feelings. Be open-minded and don’t get mad. Really listen and work on what she tells you. You can always suggest a marriage counselor. They will help you work through your feelings and help you find ways to work together. It’s extremely important to work through your feelings, you don’t want past issues to crop up later on and cause havoc. 

Take your new relationship slow. It might seem like things are going well, but give it a few months, to truly test the waters. Remember that this is a new beginning. You have had to start all over again. Respect and trust grow over time. Keep on working on yourself. If your partner felt unloved and unappreciated in the past, make sure to make her feel loved and appreciated. Buy her small gifts, leave little notes or text messages for her. Tell her the things you love about her. If you were unwilling to compromise in the past, make a special effort to give your ex-wife some space to also make decisions and do things that she enjoys. Relationships take constant work and communication is extremely important. Always make sure to talk about how you feel and not bottle everything up. If you make these changes, stick to them. Don’t just make these changes to win your spouse over, because once she has been won over, and you revert to old ways, you could easily lose her again. So keep up the hard work.  

Winning your ex back can take time. Don’t rush things. Remember to first find yourself again. Work on who you are. Make sure you really and truly want your ex-wife back. Date your ex-wife again and help her to fall in love with you all over again. This will happen by earning respect and trust. Make her feel loved and validate her feelings. Work on yourself and what caused the issues in your marriage in the first place. By doing these things and working together, you will be able to win your ex-wife’s heart back. 

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