Many families around the world have parents living in one country while their children live in another. In contrast, a husband and wife’s parents, or other family members, may live in another country or even on another continent. It is not rare for even siblings to live in different countries, far from each other, because of different life choices. Family members may live far from each other because of jobs, studies, or even marriage.
Staying in touch with family doesn’t have to involve expensive travel to see each other from time to time. All it requires is a little planning, a routine, and a few small gestures to show the other person that you are thinking of them.
Create Small Traditions That Work From Anywhere
Incorporate relatives into your children’s lives through regular video calls. The participants can also exchange photos and read stories. Recording a message and sending it to others by e-mail is also a good idea. Young children will feel at ease when they can recognize their distant relatives and feel comfortable speaking with them.
Just like with any tradition, families can turn any activity into a family tradition. Families can decide to mail their birthday cards on time, or exchange their best recipes written by hand, share their children’s artwork, or even decide to cook the same meal for a certain holiday.
Be Ready to Help With Practical Needs
Supporting relatives who live far away involves more than talking and celebrating; it also means stepping in when needed to help and support each other.
It helps to talk about the types of expenses the family can cover, how much each person can or is willing to contribute, and who will handle certain situations that may arise. For example, a family member may occasionally have to pay a medical bill, an education expense, a family celebration, repairs to a family member’s home, or even travel expenses for a family member who needs to travel in an emergency.
Logistics can become more complicated when family members live in different countries. For example, understanding how to send money to Mexico may involve looking at exchange rates, possible transfer fees, delivery methods, and how long the money will take to reach the recipient. Considering these details ahead of time can make international financial support easier to manage when it is needed.
This is why it’s important to set out the terms of any financial assistance clearly so there are no misunderstandings or resentment, even if the help was freely given.
Help Children Build Their Own Relationships
Parents can act as a ‘bridge’ between their children and relatives who live far away. Organizing all interactions between relatives and their children can make these relationships feel very formal.
Older kids can take on more responsibility for connecting with relatives. They can write messages, send photos, and even call from time to time to share their latest news. The younger kids can draw pictures and make crafts for their grandparents. They can even bring out their toys and share them with their cousins.
Another idea is to tell family stories and show old photos of relatives. This will help your kids learn where their relatives live and what their traditions and customs are. Your kids will then have more to talk about with their relatives on future visits.
Make Visits Enjoyable Instead of Overloading Them
Planning a trip to see relatives who live far away is stressful enough, but when you have rarely seen them before, trying to fit in as much time with as many relatives as possible is too much.
Remember that when traveling with kids, long trips can be tiring. Make sure to include plenty of free time in your agenda so you can spend quality time with your loved ones instead of filling every minute of your trip. Sometimes the best moments come from simply doing everyday things together as a family.
Try to make the most of just hanging out. If you’re at a relative’s house, then go for a walk. Make some dinner. Have a movie night. It’s always better to leave some space in your schedule than to fill it with boring activities that will make everyone tired.
It is better to clarify your relatives’ expectations before traveling. If some relatives expect to spend every day with you while others have their own schedules, it’s best to plan so each relative can spend time with you.
Keep Family Traditions Alive Across Distance
By sharing a family’s identity, culture, traditions, and activities with children and others, families worldwide create a sense of continuity that helps connect separated members of the extended family.
Involving distant family members in teaching children about family traditions is another way to help them feel part of the family. For example, a grandparent could teach the children how to make a family recipe, share stories of past family celebrations, and even teach them a few words in another language spoken by other family members.
The moments parents and children share are precious, and they help children understand that family identity is bigger than geography and that many family members care for each other even when they don’t all live together.
Do Not Let Distance Turn Every Conversation Into Logistics
Long-distance families have so much to organize that it can end up being all they talk about until there is nothing left to discuss. The rare times the family does get to talk, they often discuss dates and travel arrangements for the next visit instead of catching up on each other’s lives.
Call to catch up now and then. Share a funny photo of a time when you were up to something silly. Instead of always asking about the next family visit or about a specific family obligation, ask about someone’s hobbies, work, school, etc., and about their weekend.
Staying close in a long-distance family means being consistent. You can’t just plan to call each other one day; you have to make time. And don’t make it all about organizing visits and transferring funds. No, that has to be done too, but between all that, try to keep up some communication.
Staying Close Takes Consistency
Families split by miles of cities will have to make a bit more effort to stay in touch with their loved ones. They can do this in many ways, but communication, shared traditions, help when needed, and travel plans are basic tools for keeping a long-distance family together.
While it is ideal to create the same amount of family time as a geographically close family, the key is to build similar family connections and involvement through other means. These routines become second nature, and before long the distance between family members seems less important than it initially did.
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