Are you the type of mom that will go to great lengths to try and be any and everything for your children? Do you neglect your own needs in order to see to it that your children get what they need and want? Will you stretch yourself thin just to put a smile on your children’s faces? Have you ever spent your last time (or gone into debt) to afford the things your kids desire? Though it may seem like this is a mother’s job, the reality is, trying to do it all (no matter the costs) can have grave effects on both you and your children.
Supermom Syndrome
Yes, there are times when a mother has to make sacrifices to ensure she can nurture, love, and provide for her children. Yet, there are some women who take this to the extreme. The supermom syndrome is essentially the belief that a mother can be all things to her children, hold down a job, have a healthy relationship, and maintain positive friendships in a perfect manner on a daily basis. She puts a great deal of pressure on herself, sets unrealistic goals, and, in many instances – fails. While striving to the best mom, partner, employee, and friend you can be is ideal, trying to be perfect at all times will eventually lead to trouble. Here’s how:
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Low Self-Confidence – When you set high, unrealistic goals for yourself on a regular basis, but never seem to accomplish them, your self-confidence suffers. Negative self-talk starts and that inner voice keeps telling you that you’re not good enough, nothing you do is right, or even that you’re a horrible mother.
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Exhaustion – Trying to be and do everything for those closest to you on a regular basis will lead to physical and mental exhaustion. You’re only one person and there are only 24 hours in a day (8 of which you should be sleeping). Eventually, you run yourself down into a hole reducing your ability to be a good parent, spouse, employee, or friend.
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Self-Medicating – With all that you have going on physically and emotionally, you’ll start to look for ways to pacify your pain and mask overwhelming feelings. This often leads to self-medication. Drinking a bottle of wine every day after work, taking medications to keep you awake or help you to get sleep on a regular basis, or even abusing marijuana or other drugs just to get through becomes your norm. Your body develops a tolerance and eventually, your habits increase leading to addiction and the need to visit places like Clear Sky Recovery for treatment.
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Lost Sense of Self – When you spend years devoting every moment of your time, all of your energy, and every penny you earn to your kids, it means you’re neglecting your own needs. As your children get older and rely on you less, you quickly realize that you have no idea who you are, what your purpose is, or what you want out of life. This lost sense of self can essentially cause you to resent those you sacrificed everything for over the years.
Your Children Suffer Too
If that’s not enough to get you to realize just how bad being a supermom can impact your life, consider your children. When you try to do and be everything for them, this can hinder your child’s growth and development, causes them to feel entitled, and encourages them to set unrealistic expectations to reach perfection in their own lives. They’ll expect to always get what they want, when they want it, at all costs. Your children will grow to expect the people in their lives to bend over backwards to provide their needs and wants. More than likely, they will also practice this type of parenting when they have children of their own.
Every mother wants the best for her children. She wants to be able to love, nurture, provide, and care for their needs. She also wants to be able to invest in their personal interests and desires. Though these are all ideal goals for a mother to have, when you’re trying to accomplish this all on your own to perfection on a regular basis, a lot can go wrong. From poor physical and mental health to raising children who have a false sense of what to expect out of life, from other people, and even for themselves. If you’ve been striving to be a supermom, perhaps now is a good time to begin making effective changes to lessen the burden on yourself and those you love most.
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